Adoption: both beautiful and tragic



Since our first months as a married couple, we decided not to purchase internet or Netflix. We instead put $20 to $50 a paycheck into an account labeled “Adoption.” It has been a priority to pursue with hands wide open.

Over dinner at our two year anniversary we agreed to beginning the adoption journey by year five of marriage. It was mid-year four He began building adoption into our story in tangible ways.

Adoption has opened us up wide, cracked our hearts, and grown us insurmountably.

In the posts of this category, you will find both fear and hope, vulnerability and transparency, and a lot of the journey as we go.

Join us as we walk through this tragically beautiful life.

UPDATE: January 6, 2016 our sweet Sage was born. We met him January 8, 2016 and brought him home with us to Oregon January 19. You will find many posts. Here is The Story of Our Match. Here is our Adoption category.

We are also foster parents, which is a different journey of heartbreak and healing in and of itself. Read more from our Foster Care journey category. We are in the process of adopting one of our three girls, the other two are "return-to-parent cases."

I believe to my core that adoption can and should fiercely collide with social (and racial) justice. Inside me burns a deep desire to work towards freedom and healing this nation, which oppresses communities of color, minority communities, biological/birth families, and adoptees. Read more in my Social Justice category. 

When we began our adoption journey, I did not know much. Now I know more. Now I will do better and continue to learn and listen.

adoption RESOURCES

The Process

Don’t Start Your Adoption Journey Until You’ve Read This [on]

Adoption 101: Positive Adoption Language

**How To Choose An Ethical Adoption Agency (Domestic Infant Adoption)

The Problem with Adoption: Ethics. [by Stacey Stark; I recommend all of her ethics posts]

transracial adoption natalie brenner

How to Answer Ignorant Questions about Your Adoptive Family [on]

The Choices You Have To Make When You Adopt [on]

Financing Adoption With Fundraising free ebook 

 Adopt Without Debt Book

7 Ways To Adopt Without Going Into Debt [on]

When Your Spouse Is Hesitant To Adopt Or Foster [on]

Different Routes to Adopt [on]

How To Be “You” In Your Adoption Profile [by Shelley Skuster]


A Podcast with NB on Confessions of An Adoptive Parent's Honestly Speaking: The Stuff I Learned About Loss

From Adoptees

The Adopted Life Series by Angela Tucker

I Met My Mom In A Mcdonald's Parking Lot

20 Quotes from Adoptees About Being Adopted That Every Adoptive Parent Should Read

It Is Not A Betrayal To Search For Birth Parents

Transracial Adoptee Angela Tucker Shares Her Story [on]

10 Things You Should Know Before Adopting Transracially [Angela Tucker]

What It’s Like to Meet a Biological Relative for the First Time

Interview With Michelle Madrid-Branch, Author And Foster Care/International Adoptee [on]

An Interview With An Adoptee: Adoption Is A Part Of My Identity [on]

Adoptee And Adoptive Mother Lisa Joyner To Host New TLC Show [on]

Will My Child Resent Me If I Choose To Place Him For Adoption? Another Look [on]
…Though he acknowledges that adoption hasn’t always been easy, Jesse has nothing but love and respect for his birth parents.

Will My Child Resent Me if I Choose to Place Him for Adoption? [on]
…A now-adult adoptee shares her answer to this pressing question.

What An Adoptee Wants The World To Know About Adoption– A Podcast

I’m An Adoptee And I Chose To Adopt

YOUR HEART As an ADOPTIve Parent / Info To Share with your family

Adoption 101: Positive Adoption Language

Adoption Is Not Made of Heroes [on]


Adoption: Do Your Research [Interview with Rachel Garlinghouse]

A Letter To Expectant Mamas And Adoptive Parents As You Wait [on]

Why Humility Is An Essential Component in All Adoptions [on]

How to Answer Ignorant Questions about Your Adoptive Family [on]

Adoption Is Not What I Thought It Was [on]

Adoption Shaming Has To Stop [on]

Stop Using You're Adopted As An Insult [on]

To My Friends Who Are Foster Parents []

Why Are Men So Resistant To Adoption? (Dads and Adoption Part 1) A Podcast

An Interview with Seth King, A Foster Dad

On Openness Adoption / Birth Family relationships

A video by a birth mother


I Am Not Afraid of My Son's Birth Family [on TODAY Show Parenting]

To My Son's Birth Mother On Birth Mother's Day

Meeting My Son's Birth Mom In The Hospital [on]

Interview with foster care adoptee Michelle Madrid Brach

I Miss My Son’s Birth Mom [on]

To My Son’s Birth Dad [on]

Why Humility Is An Essential Component in All Adoptions [on]

An Interview With A Birth Mother: My Choice To Place [on]

Six Tips To Balancing Multiple Birth Families [by Shelley Skuster]

Why We Include Birth Families In Family Photos [Shelley Skuster]

The Differences Between Open Adoption And Closed Adoption [by Shelley Skuster]

How Do I Maintain Respect For A Birthparent When Their Choices Are So Bad?– A Podcast

Embracing Challenging Conversations About Adoptees

On Virtual Twins

Are They Twins? | Raising Virtual Twins [on]

Costco Trips With My Virtual Twins [on]

Cheers to Our Journey With Artificial Twins

What You Need To Know About My Almost Twins [on Pregnant Chicken]

On Transracial Adoption/adopting outside of your race


Can White Parents Successfully Raise Kids Of Color?

let justice roll tattoo script tattoo