It was a cold January morning when we sat across the Starbucks table from a local pregnancy-adoption counselor. This meeting was the culmination of an adoption-dream first conceived together via a skype date while dating, a couple years of trying to conceive biologically without success, and an eagerness to grow our family.
Her talk of openness in adoption frightened us and made our nerves tingly in an uncomfortable sort of way. We didn’t know that we agreed with her. How could that be best for our child? Wouldn’t he or she be confused? We have to help support this lady who kay not even go through with an adoption plan?
There weren’t many forward steps towards adoption after that coffee date conversation, but our hearts were being stirred and invited into thinking bigger. Up until that point, my idea of adoption was so small, so simple, so cut and dry. The misconceptions I held were many, but we are all in different places, right?
I had not realized how BIG adoption is. I wasn’t ready for the humility adoption demands.
I did not know adoption was meant to split you wide open, revealing the ugliest and most radiant parts of you all at once.
Another Christmas passed without expectation of or the existence of little toes to kiss, bellies to tickle, tears to soothe, and the next cold January arrived all too quickly.
Thank you to Michelle Madrid-Branch for hosting me! Michelle is an adoptee, adoptive mother, author, and advocate for women and children without families. Her website is filled with stories and experiences that will enrich your life; I am honored to be featured on her space.