3 years married: I like you 

11850802_10153572570144243_1041658068_n Three years married is looking a lot different than either Loren or I had imagined, but I believe it is all being used to help us become beautiful.

A lot of life has happened for us young newlyweds...we have fundraised most of our income, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, both of my parents were remarried and extremely quickly without much warning, we built/are building a youth ministry from scratch [only because of and through Jesus and with the help of many], we were gifted a second car [I call it my sexy momma car], we pursued low cost fertility treatments, we started the adoption process, we paused the adoption process, we experienced irrevocable loss, we traveled to Europe for three weeks, we re-started the adoption process, we had a 16 year old live with us, we had a 25 year old live with us, we have lost two grandparents. One can never fold up the entirety of years experience in words, but small glimpses are fun to look back on.

It amazes me that this is merely the prologue of our life together. If anything, the very first chapter.

It is a unique thing, navigating what it means to be a family, to sew new legacies into the quilt that is your life, to turn tides, love well. To pursue Jesus with all that we are and more, together. We have wept from the depths of who we are and we have rejoiced and laughed in celebration. We have learned that I am not so much a morning person, but I am also not a night person, so am I a person at all? We have learned that Loren needs to fall asleep to a podcast and I enjoy the silence and solitude, quiet for the soul, to slip into sleep so deep and uninterrupted by noise. We have spent hours on end with people who slurp us dry, but been so filled up full from Jesus that we know we can do it again.

Jesus is so good.

Jesus is so present, so real, so here.

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 We closed off our third year of marriage at the very place we met four years ago: Camp Winema. This week of camp always brings memories of the fluttery first eye-contact, the very few words exchanged, the awkward number request, the unfolding of our story becoming a family. We have spent all three anniversaries here in this sandy place. Sometimes I am a little sad not driving to some new place to stay for a night or two, just the two of us, dreaming together and tasting new foods and sipping red wine and celebrating the year together. But most of the times I am thankful for the place that He has us: here, at camp, where we met, where He introduced us to one another. Today the director let us steal away into town to eat out and walk on the beach together; the sunset kissed our souls. He knows it is important for his marriage, and encouraged us to do the same. Bless. I love his soul.

I am finding more and more that I simply like Loren. I like who he is. I like his laugh, his corny jokes, his bible knowledge, his greek love, his heritage and story. I like his quirks and the way he enjoys his curly beard. I like the way he tries not to smile after a joke but cannot help but let the corner of his lips curl up. I like the way he cannot match his outfit without my help, that he doesn't care what people think of his goofy ridiculousness, that he loves Jesus with all that he is. I like him a lot. A lot. A lot. A lot.

Cheers to three full years of marriage. Cheers to welcoming in the fourth. I have high hopes for this year, but am doing my best to hold my hands open and my hope loosely, wrapped entirely around Jesus.

Loren, I adore you.

I am beyond grateful I get to spend my life with you. That's the plan.

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