"What is marriage for? It is for helping each other to become our future glory-selves, the new creations that God will eventually make us.... Within this Christian vision for marriage, here is what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and the say, 'I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to His throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, 'I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!'' Each spouse should see the great thing that Jesus is doing in the life of their mate through the Word, the gospel. Each spouse should give him or herself to be a vehicle for that work and envision that day that you will stand together before God, seeing each other presented in spotless beauty & glory.
In this view of marriage, each person says to the other, 'I see all your flaws, imperfections, weaknesses, dependencies. But underneath them all I see growing the person God wants you to be.'
The goal is to see something absolutely ravishing that God is making of the beloved.
When two Christians who fully understand this stand before the minister all decked out in their wedding finery, they realize they're not just playing dress up. What they're saying is that someday they are going to be standing not before the minister but before The Lord. And they will turn to see each other without spot and blemish. And they hope to hear God say, 'Well done, good and faithful servants. Over the years you have lifted one another up to me. You sacrificed for one another. You held one another up with prayer and with thanksgiving. You confronted each other. You rebuked each other. You hugged and loved each other and continually pushed each other toward Me. And now look at you. You're radiant.'
Romance, sex, laughter, and plain fun are the by-products of this process of sanctification, refinement, glorification. However, what keeps your marriage going through the years & years of ordinary life is your commitment to your spouse's holiness. You're committed to his or her beauty, greatness, perfection, honesty, and passion for the things of God. That's your job as a spouse. Any lesser goal than that, any smaller purpose, and you're just playing at being married."
This is barely a glimpse of what Keller offers in his book, The Meaning of Marriage. It is deep, profound, challenging, inspiring, and most importantly, gospel-driven. He is amazing. I encourage any and every one to read it. This is the best & only book I'll recommend on marriage (after my whole 13 months of it). But! My pastor & his lovely wife who has been married 20 years also recommends it.
Totally worth the buy.