Last weekend we had the great opportunity to go to the Timbers vs Sounds soccer game. Loren now loves soccer and has grown extremely fond of the Timbers. Before the adventure-day began, I made sure to ask this question: "How can I serve you Saturday? This is a big exciting day, something you've looked forward to, and I want to make it the best day possible."
We are coming up to a HUGE weekend: my mom is getting married. All of our family is going to be in one big house as well as her soon-to-be-husband's family. That is a lot of people, a lot of bodies, a lot of emotions. As we come up on this huge weekend, I asked Loren, "How can I serve you this weekend? We are going to be spending a lot of energy and I want to be sure I give you times to rest. Any ideas?" He then asked me, "How can I serve you? Can I protect you in any way? Can I steal you away for a walk on the beach? How can I help carry this?"
After a huge weekend or big day, and even after an evening with friends, we often ask each other, "Did I serve you well? How can I improve for next time?"
These two questions have made our conversations deeper than fluff, have created a safe environment for conversation, and definitely brought our hearts closer as we learn how to love and serve the other. When we ask these questions, we are denying self in hopes to serve and build up the other. If we can both get to this place of humility, we can make our marriage bigger than self. We can give 100% and expect 0%. We get to serve this one human being more than anyone else on earth, why not ask them how to best do so in specific situations? We are a student of our spouse and asking these questions is the best way to learn!
What if we built these questions into every day life? What if we taught our kids servant-hood, to think of others before self? What if this was a way of life?
Ask your spouse, child, friend, and loved one: How can I serve you today? Did I serve you well today, and how can I improve?