"If you've ever wondered if it's okay to be sad, if you're wondering where God is amidst your greatest grief, read this book. Natalie's story is our story."
—Jeff Goins, Bestselling Author of The Art of Work

this undeserved life, natalie brenner
this undeserved life, natalie brenner
This Undeserved Life, grief and loss, memoir

ABOUT This Undeserved Life

You know when something bad happens in your life—you discover you're infertile, you miscarry, you experience birth trauma, you're fired traumatically—turning your world upside down, and someone comes along and tries to make you feel better... but instead, you feel worse?

Maybe they say “This was God’s plan,” “It was meant to be,” “You’ll learn something from this,” or “You’ll be fine eventually.”

What they’re really doing is stripping you of your permission to grieve.

In This Undeserved Life, you will not only find permission, you will encounter the invitation to grieve loss. All loss. You will discover that loss is unquantifiable.

My hope is that you’ll read these pages curled up with a cup of something warm and comforting, you’ll allow your heart to experience big emotions, and you end up discovering an unexpected joy.

This is the story of how I surrendered my sorrow by grabbing ahold of it, leading me to unearth an immense amount of grace.

I'm a Jesus girl. My sorrow created in me an undeniable hunger for Him; I found Him sitting with me in my darkest nightmares.

This is the story of me going from asking, "What did I do to deserve all this pain and sorrow?" to asking, "What did I do to deserve all this grace and goodness?"


These two prints are FREE when you preorder! Be sure to send me an email letting me know you preordered :-)

These two prints are FREE when you preorder! Be sure to send me an email letting me know you preordered :-)

When can I get This Undeserved Life?

This Undeserved Life will be available September 18, 2017 in print and kindle.



if you preorder

Fill out this form to claim your freebies.

*Preorder This Undeserved Life for a discounted price, whether kindle or print. The prices will raise September 24th to $15.99 and $12.99. Currently you can purchase a print book for $9.99 and a kindle book for $6.99.

Bonuses are:

  • two beautiful prints seen above
  • advanced digital copy of manuscript
  • first 250 receive a custom signed book plate

Join my launch team!

Are you excited about the message in This Undeserved Life? Join my launch team and help me spread the word! I have big goals for this book and need all the help I can get.

Share one of these images with your social media world, plan your own book club, help me spread the word about this necessary book.

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Praises from real life people

A note from Diane Comer, Author of He Speaks In The Silence and Cofounder of Intentional

In This Underserved Life, Natalie Brenner opens her heart wide to let us into her grief and pain. She courageously invites us to feel with her, to weep and moan— to be the broken people we are. Natalie’s story will bring you to the One— Jesus— who can birth beauty out of ugliness and joy out of grief.

This is more than a story about loss— it is a story of finding the greatest treasure imaginable.

A note from Kayla Craig, Author of Just Really Joseph, Co-Host of The Upside Down Podcast, and Writer at KaylaCraig.com

Like heart-drenched entries from a journal, Natalie’s raw reflections show what we all know and yet often fail to understand: True healing comes from entering pain, not shying away from it. These honest glimpses of a young life flipped upside-down by pain, loss, and shame will help many hurting hearts know they’re not alone. Natalie’s sweet soul shines through her words, taking readers on an intimate journey of what it really means to be joyful in hope, faithful in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

A note from Jessica Satterfield, Adoptive Mom, Writer, and Speaker at www.GraceWhileWeWait.com

Natalie’s words in this book shine light on the darkest, unseen places of the soul. Her raw and honest words extend an invitation for us to give our grief, found in each of our stories, the space and time to heal. These words will speak to deep places in you, I know they have in me.

A note from Mike Berry, Author of Confessions Of An Adoptive Parent: Hope And Help From The Trenches Of Foster Care and Adoption

This is one of the best books I’ve ever read on grief, loss, and finding hope through it. Natalie accurately, passionately, and deeply captures the pain and agony of loss, but also the redemptive power when we place everything in the hands of Jesus. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has suffered loss, or is in a season of grief.

A note from Seth King, Refugee Case Manager at Lutheran Community Services

Sometimes it seems like the world of writing where real life and Jesus collide is just for women. It would be easy to put this text in that same vein. It is more than that though. As a foster dad figuring out how to love and raise kids that aren’t like me, this book spoke to my heart. As someone trying to figure out what it means to love The Church when hurt is everywhere, this book spoke to my heart. As a guy trying to figure out the meaning of life and birth for the women all around me, this book taught me pieces I never before understood. Natalie is exactly what she seems like. Full of hope and kindness even in the darkest of places. There is nothing false or fake hiding between the lines. Grateful for the words of this book.

A not from Jeff Goins, Bestselling Author of The Art of Work

If you’ve ever wondered if it’s okay to be sad, if you’re wondering where God is amidst your greatest grief, read this book. Natalie’s story is our story.

A note from Adoption.com:

Some words of advice when you read Natalie Brenner’s This Undeserved Life: clear your schedule because you won’t want to put it down; start a book club because you are going to want to talk about this book with everyone you know; and try not to bawl after reading because you realize how painful, incredible, stressful, and magical life can be.
Natalie weaves a story about grief, adoption, infertility, heartache, love, and more. Page after page you will be amazed at how one person finds her way through trauma and pain to a beautiful, imperfectly wonderful life.

This is a must-read for anyone looking to find more purpose, beauty, and life.

A note from Michelle Madrid-Branch, Author, Speaker, International Adoptee, Adoptive Parent, and Global Advocate For Women and Children. She is the author of Adoption Means Love: Triumph of the Heart, Mascara Moments: Embracing the Woman in the Mirror, and the children’s book, The Tummy Mummy. To learn more about Michelle, please visit MichelleMadridBranch.com    

Natalie Brenner is courageously transparent. Her new book is no exception.
She writes openly and honestly about loss and the importance of grieving what has been lost. As an international adoptee, her story touches me deeply. I know the cost of suppressing grief; the suffering that comes with numbing our pain. This Underserved Life gives grief a voice, and thus gives voice to us all.

A note from Josie Corliss, Professional Stay At Home Mom to Four Boys

This book may make you cry while you read it in public spaces. At least that is what happened to me. Natalie leaves her beating heart on these pages; here so we can all feel safer with baring our own hearts. If you have walked through grief of any kind you will likely feel safe, seen, and heard in these pages. May you no longer feel alone in your grief.

A note from Diane Comer, Writer at He Speaks In The Silence and Author of Finding Intimacy with God by Learning To Listen:

I’d love to recommend your living-wisdom for others as they walk through hardship.

A note from Lorna Bailey, Executive Assistant to Jeff Goins

...crying because I experienced similar leadership in [city] and it was a relief for someone to put words to the feeling and validate that what I had felt for the past few years wasn’t me being crazy.

A quick note from Jessica Satterfield, Writer at Grace While We Wait:

Girl, only into chapter two...crying. So good.

A note from Misha Klein, Boys and Girls Club Branch Director

Natalie has taken the her story and the topics of loss and grief and hurt and has created something absolutely beautiful! The whole time I was reading, names of friends and family who would benefit from reading this book kept popping into my head. This Undeserved Life will speak to anyone who has ever faced loss or grief or conflict that made them feel isolated and alone—or rather, God will speak to them through this book.

Natalie is a gifted writer and is faithfully using that gift for His glory. She has a story that SO MANY people will relate to for so many reasons.

A note from Stacey Stark, Writer at Adoption.com and The Starks Adopt:

I laid in bed reading last night and didn’t want to put it down. I’m loving this book. Tons of people are going to relate to this. The idea that we need to work, sacrifice, and paste on a smile, as if anything less isn’t consistent with our faith. It’s so good, everything is so vivid to me.

Pain and loss are unavoidable, but Natalie’s words in This Undeserved Life will refresh your soul. Her encouragement to quit pretending and look our grief and pain in the face is a message that will be helpful to so many. Whether you have or are presently dealing with everyday disappointment or tragic loss, this is a message we all need to hear—that we will still find Jesus in the midst of our deepest pain. 

My manuscript is currently in the hands of Mike Berry from Confessions of An Adoptive Parent, Diane Comer from He Speaks In The Silence, Jessica Satterfield from Grace While We Wait, Lorna Bailey, and Jeff Goins

I cannot wait to release this book into a world that needs it! I have loved the process of writing this book and am honored to have the freedom to do so. What a gift. This is my labor of love to the fractured-hearted.


this undeserved life, book cover, grief book, memoir
These two prints are FREE when you preorder! Be sure to send me an email letting me know you preordered :-)

These two prints are FREE when you preorder! Be sure to send me an email letting me know you preordered :-)

Image by Kersten Green Photography from Portland, OR.

Image by Kersten Green Photography from Portland, OR.

This Undeserved Life, Natalie Brenner
A Memoir: This Undeserved Life by Natalie Brenner
This Undeserved Life by Natalie Brenner, a grief memoir