Transracial Adoption Resources
So you adopted a child of a different-than-you ethnic/racial make-up? How exciting... as well as nerve-wracking!
*I recognize not all transracial adoptions are white adults adopting children of color — there are a multitude of other ethnicities. This is simply my family: white dad, white mom, three children of color, white son. This page is tailored to our specific multi-cultural aspect, but I am sure there is something for everyone here!*
My friends—like Angela Tucker and Rhonda Roorda and others in my community—have made it increasingly clear that as white parents, we have a big responsibility when we choose to adopt a child of color.
NOT an adoptive family? Maybe you're a biological interracial family. Maybe you're a family of all one ethnicity/race, but still want to be sure you're raising your kids to be aware of these things—praise Jesus on high! Including these things into your home and life will help us all work towards racial reconciliation + equity.
It's important to me that I never come across as though I am speaking for someone else's experience. I want to stay in my lane, and after talking through a ton with Angela Tucker and other friends of color, I have decided there is a lane for me to speak: how I go about parenting my child of color and what I am learning from my friends of color + why these things are important. I also by no means think I have all the answers and am continually seeing how far I have to go. This is simply a space for me to share what I'm learning and how we live as a multi-cultural family.
One incredibly simple way to love your child well, is to check each of your children's book (and adult books!) for racism and sexism.
Download this free resource to do just that!
OTHER WAYS TO CELEBRATE + HONOR YOUR CHILD OF COLOR
- Having a multitude of books featuring characters of color
- Check books for racism (both at home library + school books + church library)
- Dolls + toys of color
- Art featuring various cultures + ethnicities
- Join a black-led church
- Purchase Tru Color bandaids to match your child's skin to have at home + send to school and church!
- Move to a more diverse part of the city, without gentrifying it
- Perpetually confront and analyze your (hidden) biases
- Give your friends of color a right of passage in your life: do not be easily offended by them offering their guidance, suggestions, support
- Join Facebook groups like Be The Bridge To Racial Unity and Joy-Filled Transracial Families
- Study + learn about the different-textured hair your child has. I guarantee their hair needs a different wash/condition regime. Learn what is culturally appropriate for your area. The best case scenario would be that you have mama of color friends you can call on to ask and learn from! Be sure your language around their hair is only ever positive.
- Pay attention to the parks and playgrounds, stores and malls, libraries, dentists and doctors, community centers etc: are there people (more than one) that represent and look like your child? How can you change your routines?
- Continually seek education in the way of social injustice and systemic racism
- Pay attention to the shows your kids watch: are there people of color? Are they always villains? Use the book checklist for television shows and movies too!
- When giving gifts to cousins of your kids—aunts and uncles, grandparents too!—give them books and toys that represent your children so they can have them at their house!
- Work towards reconciliation: this involves a lot of listening and reading from voices of color—especially when it feels uncomfortable. This involves having difficult and painful conversations with family members. This involves closing or distancing unsafe-for-your-child relationships who are unwilling to listen and learn about systemic racism and confront their own bias.
Feel free to peruse my Amazon wish list! It has many books + toys I am working on filling my home with.
Of course, I have purchased many things as well, so I will do my best to share them here in images with links :)
I am so honored to be in this completely privileged place with you: white mama, brown and black babies. It is a privilege I don't take lightly and I will continue to listen to what other brown and black adoptees share. My question to them is always: "How could your parents have loved you better? Be straight with me: my kids need you to be."
Angela always says we have to be comfortable in the discomfort. As I have continued to peel back my ego and pride, it becomes much less uncomfortable and more about simply loving my kids to the best of my ability. As well as working towards justice for all.
Here are a few items we already have in our home, some different hair products we love, and more!
CLICK ON IMAGE TO SEE ON AMAZON
(some links are affiliate links)